Beyond the Fort of Strength
For most of my life, I have relied on a core of inner steel. I have climbed mountains and faced challenges with a determination fueled by intuition. In many ways, I have lived my life like a Raku firing: unpredictable, intense, disruptive, and overwhelming. Why did I choose that path? Because I trusted the result. The beautiful vase or the striking bowl stood as symbols for everything I had achieved.
But today, the Raku kiln remains cold. Today, I am not the potter; I am the clay—raw, porous, and remarkably fragile. I am realizing that while the world rewards the "strong woman," it is the softer version of myself that allows me to truly feel, to truly live. Being strong has become my default setting, perhaps even a survival strategy. And lately, I’ve become more aware of the weight of that armor.
The Girl Behind the Façade
Behind that façade of courage and strength—built like an impregnable fortress—lives a girl who longs for rest, for safety, and for simplicity. She yearns for a life that is uncomplicated and stress-free. She is vulnerable, and she frequently feels overwhelmed. Always being the "strong one" is exhausting.
What she really wants is to pick daisies in a field and string them into a necklace. She wants to be in the moment, enjoying the now. She wants to feel life deeply, in all its complexity. She wants to cry when things go wrong instead of immediately starting over. She wants to be angry, to stomp her feet when faced with injustice, instead of always being the rational one who redirects her focus. She wants to be small and vulnerable, rather than measured and stoic."
The Bone-Dry Threshold
This inner girl is as brittle as a piece of pottery that is bone-dry but not yet fired. It is dusty, delicate, and can turn back into mud with a single drop of water. It is beautiful in its simplicity, yet incredibly fragile. If you aren't careful, it breaks. Handle it wrong, and it snaps in two. Bump against it, and it’s shattered.
Yet, this phase in the creative process is crucial. Without allowing the work to dry completely, it would explode in the heat of the kiln. There is no other choice but to treat it with absolute tenderness—to stop moving it, to stop pushing it, and to simply let it be.
Rebel Lesson: The Radical Act of Softness
When life becomes too much, let it just stand for a moment. Give that small girl the space to feel. You don’t have to be strong yet; that can come later. A true Rebel isn't always powerful, unpredictable, or disruptive. A true Rebel is someone who gives themselves permission to be fragile in a world that demands you keep going.
The real fight isn't against the "rat race," but against the internal urge to always be "okay." Being soft toward yourself and others is a skill that is profoundly undervalued in our society. It is time we let the little girl inside us play again. It is time we value the brittle clay for what it is, long before it ever touches the fire.
Craft your own path,
Bertie